stop whipping your hair every minute. half of your mane ends up on my computer screen, and my mac doesn’t need your weird shine serum spread all over it.
i am astonished at where we are today. in a bad way.
As my junior year is drawing to a close, I have to really start considering what is going to get me as prepared as possible for “the real world” - a job. Should I stay where I’m comfortable and obtain a higher position for the year, or venture out and do things that I have always wanted to do? I really want to study abroad or do UCDC (or both), and I know I can because my financial aid would apply to the point where I would be paying just as much as I am now to go to school here. Do I really want to take on the responsibility of applying all of my time to another position in an organization I am already a leader of, or do I want to fulfill the goals I had when I first came into college?
I am a planner. I like to have daily schedules with specific time slots filled with various activities, and I want to be able to map out my future to the best of my ability. Since I already decided to stay a fifth year to add another major, should I use my extra time to keep going with what I have or venture out and do something new? Or can I do both?
I feel like I am always giving myself to others - giving up my goals and independent aspirations for everyone that surrounds me. When I think about studying abroad, I immediately think - how will my mother deal with being away from me for so long? How will everyone that relies on me do without me here? But then I think - so. what. I never really take opportunities for the good of my well-being, and I always give myself to others. Yet, when does it stop? When should I put my foot down and keep it there for what I want to do?
Sometimes, my independent spirit is caged by my caring and worry for others, and with that, I am still happy, but at 80%. I want to push myself, to experience something on my own before I graduate, and to achieve that last twenty percent.
I will try my best to do both - to serve those that depend on me as much as I can, but also serve myself and accomplish my personal goals. I believe this can happen, and I can succeed in all aspects of life, because I know if anyone is capable of doing so, it is me.
Je veux partir ):